It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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