Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
