U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
