The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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