I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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