with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
