Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
