Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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