so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
