Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
