This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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