Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ttyl tear gas
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
