This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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