Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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