I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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