Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
