the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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