I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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