I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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