my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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