Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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