the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
