dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
