The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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