standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize