I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
