I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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