I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
