She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
wow bdsm is so cute
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
