So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
