Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think i got beer on your cat.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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