Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
