My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just found puke in my bra..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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