Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
