you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
