Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
