the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
