Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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