oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
