Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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