We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
