im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
