dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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