Plan B is the new Plan A
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
