There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A+ Viking dick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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