Old men and throwing up are my life now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
