I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
