we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
