My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
