he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
